Scent of a woman(bitch)???!!!

After a traumatic night...no sleep for me, as the muppet dog had run away, hours wandering the fields in the pitch black, looking for him, we have a phone call this morning from the lovely people at Dogs Trust in Hamstead Marshall, to say that Ozzy was in residence.
It had taken many phone calls, texts, networking messages etc, before we got to the happy reunion. A whole family from Thatcham, friends of Annas, drove over to help look  for him.
I trod in a huge pile of his excrement, in my slippers, while standing in the garden whistling...delightful. Many drives round the local roads, calls to neighbours........no use.
Now, two weeks ago, young Ozzy had his first taste of 'pleasures of the flesh', with a young lady from down the road, Holly. Planned I hasten to add...he's not 'that' sort of dog!!( or maybe he is)
It took him two tries, to get it right, the first day was a disaster...he kept getting on the wrong end. Holly was not impressed. Anyway, the next two days were a success, so we wait with bated breath, to see if he managed to become a daddy! and so we thought that was that.

It appears not, as Ozzy decided to go wanderabout last night, and was gone all night...leaving us all worrying. Whether he got a taste for the wilder side of life I dont know, but all I can say is....whatever he got up to last night, has left him exhausted! He has hardly moved all day, is off his food, and looks sad/guilty!
Anyway.....naughty though he was, I love him, was devastated when he was missing, and was thrilled to get him back. I hope Holly has loads of lovely puppies, but Ozzy will be going very soon, to see our lovely vet, and coming home short of a couple of appendages, because my nerves cant take the strain!!!!